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Someone Took a Chunk Out of Beyonce's Leg

Apr 11, 2014 -- 5:31pm

Beyonce recently went golfing and posted some pictures of herself on her Instagram. *Puts on sarcastic voice* NOW FAR BE IT FROM ME TO EVER CRITICIZE THE MIGHTY QUEEN BEYONCE FOR ANYTHING, *takes off sarcastic voice* but take a look at that thigh gap.

Photo via Gossip Cop and highlighted with my sweet sweet MS Paint skills

I'm not talking about the actual space between her thighs (although they do look unreasonably skinny), I'm specifically referring to the unnatural indentation in her left thigh. I circled it in red for you, just in case you missed it. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: ain't no way that's not photoshopped. Of course, Beyonce's loyal and vigilant internet defenders claim the picture was just taken at an odd angle, and to them I say: get real.

This Makes My Expenditures on Magic Cards Look Reasonable

Mar 31, 2014 -- 5:38pm

Kitty, a Texas woman whose last name I suppose we'll never know, spent $25,000 on 6 plastic surgery procedures to make herself look more like Jennifer Lawrence. Besides being a huge fan of Jennifer Lawrence and being compared to her frequently, her main motivation was because she was unhappy with her body after giving birth to her now 5-year-old daughter. The irony, of course, is that she actually looked better before the procedure... but is that really a surprise?

Photo via Buzzfeed

You can check out video of Kitty (and another woman opting for a similar surgery to look like Michelle Rodriguez) here. For my money, she didn't look like Jennifer Lawrence before the surgeries and she certainly doesn't look like her afterwards, but hey, why save that money for your daughter's college education (as she admitted she could have done) when you can flush it down the toilet for a quick attempt at self-empowerment?

I dunno. I don't get plastic surgery, and I don't think I ever will.

Like a Banana Peel but Funnier

Mar 25, 2014 -- 4:55pm

I guess Instagram doesn't want me saving images off its site and posting them elsewhere, because there's no option to just save this text screenshot from Ariana Grande to Scooter Braun... but there's always a way. Take THAT, Instagram!

Photo via Scooter Braun's Instagram

Oh and Ophelia is Ariana Grande's dog. So over the weekend she slipped on a puddle of her dog's pee. Well would you look at that. It seems like attractive females are only human too!

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Chris Brown

Mar 17, 2014 -- 4:51pm

We celebrate St. Patrick's Day today with the official announcement of a blossoming romance... Drake and Rihanna are officially an item! They've been romping around Europe together while Rihanna is on tour, apparently spending every night together since she arrived there. She says she wants to spend as much time with Drake as her schedule allows because he treats her better than anyone she's ever been with.


Photo via rapbasement.com

Speaking of which! Chris Brown is now in jail for violating his probation by being kicked out of rehab. So Drake... you win this round.

Still All in This Together?

Mar 11, 2014 -- 4:44pm

So far this week, a kid just waltzed right into Miley Cyrus' dressing room uninhibited, and a couple had to call 911 because their cat was holding them hostage in their bedroom. Two bizarre stories, certainly, and it's only Tuesday, so I can't wait to see where the rest of the week takes us. But the most exciting story so far this week is the prospect of another High School Musical movie.

Thanks for the picture, E!

Yes, I'm a big fan of High School Musical. Well okay... 1 and 3. HSM2 was really stupid.

Anyway, Zac Efron recently spoke with E! about the possibility of a reunion, and he didn't scoff at it. As a matter of fact, he said he still regularly sees the cast members and that he believes all of them would be up for a new installment, saying "We're all thinking about it. I continue to see all the guys from High School. Every time we do... there's just this look between us." I've always liked Zac Efron, and if I ever had a movie made about my life, he's who I'd like to see cast to play me (we're roughly the same height and age), and while Troy Bolton is certainly the coolest kid to ever grace the halls of East High, I'd actually be more excited to see more Gabriella.  My undying love for High School Musical is due in most part to two things: the musical numbers and Vanessa Hudgens. But moreso Vanessa Hudgens. Heck I even sat through Beastly and Spring Breakers for her. Surprisingly, Beastly was the better movie. But I digress.

Now I'm just trying to think of a good title that references a notable line from one of the series' numbers... okay I think I got it.

Living a Lie: Ramen Noodles Edition

Mar 04, 2014 -- 6:14pm

Last night I had the brilliant idea to mix condensed cheddar cheese soup with ramen noodles... or at least I thought it was a brilliant idea. I was picturing a delicious combination that basically amounted to a poor-man's version of a pasta dish with cheesy sauce. What I ended up with was a soggy, runny mess that I only ate about half of before flushing the rest down the toilet. And THEN, I found THIS:

Why thank you, Buzzfeed

I suppose the reason there's so much space between the noodles and the bottom of the cup is so that the noodles can expand and cook evenly, but still. It feels like a rip-off when you look at it like that. But hey, ramen is cheap, and the cheese flavored cup of noodles are far better than my ramen/soup concoction, so I'm gonna have to go out and get my hands on some more.

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